"I can't get up at the crack of dawn to carpe fucking diem because I'm out five nights a week chasing laughter and moonlight."
omg you’re straight!!? wow. like, how does that even work? how do you have sex? omfg when did you know that you’re straight? haven’t you tried being gay?! maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet…. but wow you’re straight. i have a straight friend. hi straight friend. HEY EVERYBODY THIS IS MY STRAIGHT FRIEND